Monday, May 18, 2009

Opposition and rescue - Kerry

I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.
I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
My enemies turn back;
they stumble and perish before you.
Psalm 9:1-3 (NIV)

The LORD is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,
but with an overwhelming flood
he will make an end of Nineveh;
he will pursue his foes into darkness.
Nahum 1:7-8 (NIV)

Ever since I received the acceptance letter from Edinburgh, there has been circumstantial resistance. A sampling of the more significant problems we have faced in just a few weeks include:

1.)We discovered that UK immigration had made changes just a few days before which made it substantially more expensive to get a student visa;
2.)An old debt came due which threatened to empty out our meager savings;
3.)Lara's mother discovered that she had a brain tumor;
4.)I discovered that my grandfather was in very poor health in the hospital.

Much of the financial burden came about after we had determined that the righteous thing to do was to tithe on all income related to the move (whether gifts or sale of our possessions or whatever). The amount of money we needed to have on hand just to apply for the student visa was staggering: $13,000, and our savings until then were $12,000 short. We had thought that perhaps we might have some resources to draw on to acquire some of that amount, but every resource we thought was a sure thing turned out to be worth functionally zero. By the time Friday, May 8 came around, Lara and I were emptied of both ideas and emotional energy. Then came even worse news: Lara's mom had a mass on her brain and was going into the hospital. Finally, as if to rub salt in an open wound, last Friday something (maybe a tiny spaceship) hit our windshield and cracked it significantly, irreparably, requiring it to be replaced. This circumstantial resistance was too coordinated for me to attribute it to mere coincidence. At the same time, I am not self-centered enough to think our spiritual enemy is going to manipulate British immigration reform just to thwart my education. That would be bordering on psychotic.

In the typically Semitic wording of Revelation when speaking of spiritual forces antagonistic to the righteous, it was given to the enemy that he should thwart us. That passive voice is a circumlocution which really indicates the activity and will of God himself. The enemy can do nothing unless God allows it, and he only allows it for a time (“time, times, and half a time” being equal to 3.5, which is half of a complete seven, indicating temporariness). Where the enemy is allowed to attack, he does so with venomous wrath, knowing his time is short, but the attack's true purpose is to give God an opportunity to be glorified.

The image that formed in my mind was that it was like we were in tall grass, with enemies hidden all around us, waiting for an opportune time to ambush us. The call to attack came when I received my acceptance letter, and suddenly we were overwhelmed by the attack of the enemy. But the cool thing is that when it seemed we were going to be washed away by the onslaught of the enemy, God came in like a flood, pushing ahead toward the goal that he had set for us. The door was open, and no man or spirit or set of circumstances could shut it.

The very day we sent out a payment for the old debt, a friend promised to give us an amount exactly equal to it, without knowledge of the debt. Two days later, another couple, after being prompted in prayer, promised us the use of an unreal amount of money so that we could be assured of getting the student visa. Two days after that, Lara's mother's surgery went well, the tumor giving no indication so far of being life threatening (we're still waiting for more data on that, but I am confident that God is faithful). And the windshield replacement was something we probably needed to do anyway if we are going to sell the car, since there was another, but less severe, crack in it before the kamikaze spaceship busted it.

This utter helplessness and total dependence on God is somewhat new to me. I've been in what seemed to be dire circumstances before, but it appears to me that my powerlessness is starker, more obvious, more severe than at any other time in my life. I'm stoked! I think I better understand George Müller, who prayed that God would use him and his life to be an example of God's faithfulness, and that prayer was certainly answered. Living by faith is like a ride at a theme park. Roller coasters feel dangerous, but the seat belts and safety checks in place make the ride acceptably safe. But if roller coaster safety is “certain”, how much more certain is God's provision, who controls all circumstances and knows all things.

For those who read this, please keep Lara's mother and my grandfather in prayer.

1 comment:

  1. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me. I see this everyday when finches are in the road, and they do not fly away fast like the big birds, but rather narrowly miss the tires of my screeching car to get mariah to school on time. It's amazing how He gets our attention sometime, but also good to see his blessings and now He still loves us all this time. :)

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