Somewhere Else - Lara

To research the culture in which we are about to be immersed, I have begun to read about the ancient settlement of Scottish clans that eventually turned into Edinburgh. I have discovered some interesting facts, like that the castle in the center of the city is actually built on one of many dormant volcanoes that define the landscape, and the North Sea touches the east coast of the city. I even learned that every year the city's population of 400,000 swells to a million as it hosts their internationally known Arts festival. The medieval city plan is peppered with innovation. They pride themselves on being modern and culturally savvy. The countryside is described as something that came out of a fairytale with its green hills, country roads, and mysterious lochs.

I found it hard to imagine living there. In fact, I harbor a fears: that we will get there and move into an old dorm room in which we have to share a bathroom and kitchen with the rest of the floor; that the city is rowdy and gruff; that no one likes us and we can't fit in any group; that I will discover I can't work for some reason; and that our finances end up in shambles because we could not sell the house, car or whatever. They aren't rational fears, but fears are still there.

I then look and see all that has happened so far. Kerry was accepted into a very prestigious University, we have the funds to qualify for the visa (which I am eager to return to the lender so it doesn't get spent), we have been able to sell a good portion of what we own, and all while watching my mom recover very quickly from her brain surgery. It has been a full month of miraculous things. Every negative thing was countered and superseded by something better.

So back to those green hills and rainy days. Kerry and I look at Edinburgh as a fulfillment of quite a few dreams. Kerry dreams of getting his PhD and becoming a professor. I dream of improving in my career to the point that I can work at home and have plenty of business. I look forward to a city so tightly compact that I don't have to drive. We want to travel and explore the world while we are there. We may even start a Bible study and make life-long friends. And we are hoping to be able to finish the three years in better financial shape than when we started. For Edinburgh to be all this, it will take the hand of God. Is it possible to be so happy?

When we had moved to East Texas we had some dreams too. It was different. I had wanted to farm and raise animals and work freelance. Kerry was going to work on his music and apply for PhD programs. But things turned out differently than we had imagined. It was harder. Everything took a lot of hard work. We didn't farm or do much to our land that we had wanted because of finances. We worked hard in the work place dealing with feeling like failures because everything was being sucked away by school loans and debt. We struggled with the issues of infertility and not being able to have children. We had to push beyond well water, long commutes, and a frustrating driveway. We did learn a lot of things and made some good friends, but every step was a deliberate fight to push beyond the daily irritations. We couldn't give up and take an easier route because it would have prevented us from being able to do what we are about to do. I look over the 3+ years in East Texas and find that we have changed because of it. In the end many of our core dreams seemed to happen. We have paid off a lot of debt and re-evaluated our dreams and goals. I still struggle with how hard it was though. I can't help but wonder if this is the way life is supposed to be. Is this what I should expect in Edinburgh?

I think life is like a picture in the office of one of the ladies I work with. It was of a man and a woman sharing an umbrella down a cobble stone road with store fronts on either side. The rainy scene evokes the romantic dream of Edinburgh that I fear is unrealistic. I looked at the picture and knew that this would be the way things would turn out. The struggle in the rain was part of what made the picture so wonderful. It drew the couple closer together and made the street empty just for them. I find that the time here in East Texas was not as bad as it could be. It drew us closer to God and cleared out of our life all the clutter that we were holding onto so tightly. I see the good things such as even owning a house and wondering how did that happen? I see the jobs and friends at our jobs and wonder at the good people that we have encountered. Then I look at the future and see the road before us. We are in fact going to Scotland. It is real. And there are still dreams coming true. The impossible things are happening everyday. When I decided to put my trust in God, life did not become easier or harder, it became both.

When you are no longer satisfied with anything but what you were created to do, you have to push against the tide that is dragging you back in your life. This always causes conflict, problems, and trouble. When God is in control of your life, He makes sure you can go where He leads even if that means moving mountains. The miraculous and impossible still happens today. Some people see a miracle in the little things in life, which is legitimate, since it takes the active involvement of God to put the life spark into a seed to let it grow. The difference between the living and the dead is only the sustaining force of God allowing us one more day. The normal work of God in the everyday is one end of the spectrum, but God is not just "luck". He also does things that are unexpected too. In our church in Longview, a woman attends who had been dead for over an hour. God brought her back to life without medical help. That is pretty amazing. He is actively involved in my mom's life too. We feared many things only a few weeks ago, including death. She lay in bed unable to move her left side at all, before the operation, but this past Sunday she stood in church and worshiped God with use of both sides of her body and full mental ability. She should have been in the rehab center with so many others who went through similar things while struggling to regain these functions. God was with her and I believe He will continue His work until she is completely cancer free. If God can do that, I am sure, as I read about this far away place, God can work somewhere else as well.