Sunday, October 4, 2009

Courage

I haven't let you all know what we have been up to lately. Since the last blog, we moved into St. Colm's house where we are staying in some rooms indefinitely. There we have to share the bathrooms, kitchen, and common areas. It is quiet and clean, so we have unpacked some and bought some groceries. That is pretty much all we did on Tuesday.

Wednesday, I had to get over some of my fears of traveling the city alone. Kerry must work on his studies and I could do some of the errands nearby without much chance of getting lost. For some reason I still just had a great big desire to stay locked up in my room. I did not travel across the world to be freaked out! So we walked to New College and there I left Kerry to go to Princes Street to find a cheap cell phone and information about bank accounts. I got information about both very easily and was able to explore the Writer's Museum before the time I was to meet Kerry. I felt really proud that I was even mistaken for a local a couple of times. It probably was because I didn't look quite as lost as the hordes of tourists who were also there.

The next day we followed a similar schedule after going to some University offices trying to find all the things we needed to open a bank account. We took the bus for the first time because these offices were on the very opposite corner of the city center. We also didn't completely succeed getting the information we needed because some things needed to be mailed to us later. This time after leaving Kerry at New College, I purchased a Skype phone, found an art shop and bought some simple art supplies, visited the Museum of Childhood, and then went to the National Library (which was kind of small). I had expanded my sphere of travel a bit farther and felt pretty good.

At this point I may have traveled as much as a half mile away from New College, but I still preferred Kerry good sense of direction (though, some of his short cuts would have been easier the longer and smoother way). Today was a real test. We traveled by bus down to the main campus library so Kerry could use those resources and so we could be close to a flat we were scheduled to look at. We were nervous about whether or not it would fall through. When the time came, we were able to see the place. Someone was still living there and it would not be available until next week.

It was a first floor (in America it would be the second floor) two bedrooms and one bath flat/apartment in a quiet area, situated only about a 15min walk to New College and right next door to the main campus library. The kitchen, dining room, and living room was one space that looked like just a large kitchen (with an American size refrigerator!). The master bedroom was large with a nice window and built in bookshelf (which would be very nice!). The second bedroom was also large with bunk beds. There was also plenty of storage and closet space. It was furnished and a good price. We immediately wanted it and were desperate not to lose it. Unfortunately, Kerry needed to go to his first class, and we needed to pay the deposit. This had to be done in an area of town I had only been to once before, and I had to be there before the offices closed for the day, which was before Kerry was out of class (4:00 p.m. of course).

This made me have to muster as much of an independent spirit as I could. Kerry handed me most of the maps we owned and pointed out the location of the building I needed to go to. I had the cell phone that we bought for this purpose, but could I call Kerry while he was in class? Anyways, we parted ways. He went towards New College and I towards Holyrood Park. I was able to get there and pay the deposit. I found out later that I was supposed to fill out an application, but no one seemed to know that at that time. It still worked out well because we could just fill out the application on Monday. With the deposit, it was ours. Then I traveled to New College and waited for Kerry at the National Gallery where I did a few sketches.

Finally, we went home to eat dinner and I called my Dad. It turns out that even though Mom is doing better, the cancer is spreading and there is nothing they can do. Again, my courage was being tested, but not just mine, the whole family was in turmoil. After talking to my dad, my brother, my grandmother, and even my mom, I have to face what will I do and how will I respond.

I am afraid I cannot answer that. I still don't know. I know a few of you have gone through this. I wrote this in the blog because I know it will be the central focus for me of the next few weeks. Keep us all in prayer.

2 comments:

  1. Lara, I am so sorry to hear the "nothing to do" diagnosis. I immediately went back to that place in my life where I heard the same words. Please know that even though I can't hug you personally, my heart is hugging yours hard!

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  2. Same with me Lara...I know EXACTLY what you are going through...it is never easy and I am so sorry about your mom...she is a dear lady and I am praying for you and your family...Im hugging you virtually :)

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